Tuesday, October 7, 2008

ponder

A good traveller is one who does not know where he is going to, and a perfect traveller does not know where he came from.

Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live.

No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our cooks.

Society can exist only on the basis that there is some amount of polished lying and that no one says exactly what he thinks.

The wise man reads both books and life itself.

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought.

Today we are afraid of simple words like goodness and mercy and kindness. We don't believe in the good old words because we don't believe in good old values anymore. And that's why the world is sick.
Where there are too many policemen, there is no liberty. Where there are too many soldiers, there is no peace. Where there are too many lawyers, there is no justice.

marriage

MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you..
If you do, you just might save a marriage.

A+

The following is an actual question given in a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we
look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct..... .leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting:
"Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

amen

Butch Jimenez, head of PLDT's media and strategic communications
department, delivered this speech at the UP Diliman Class 2003
commencement exercises
AS college students, you're just about to set sail into the real
world. As you prepare for the battleground of life, you'll hear many
speeches, read tons of books and get miles of advice telling you to
work hard, dream big, go out and do something for yourself, and have
a vision.
Not bad advice, really. In fact, following these nuggets of truth may
just bring you to the top. But as I've lived my life over the years,
I have come to realize that it is great to dream big, have a vision,
make a name, and work hard. But guess what: There's something better
than that.
So my message today simply asks the question, What's better than...?
Let's start off with something really simple. What's better than a
long speech? No doubt, a short one. So, you guys are in luck because
I do intend to keep this short.
Now, let me take you through a very simple math exam. I'll rattle off
a couple of equations, and you tell me what you observe about them.
Be mindful of the instructions. You are to tell me what you observe
about the equations. Here goes:
3+4=7, 9+2=11, 8+4=13, and 6+6=12. Tell me, what do you observe?
Every time I conduct this test, more than 90 percent of the
participants immediately say, 8+4 is NOT 13, it's 12!
That's true and they are correct. But they could have also observed
that the three other equations were right. That 3+4 is 7, that 9+2 is
11, and that 6+6 is 12.
What's my point? Many people immediately focus on the negative
instead of the positive. Most of us focus on what's wrong with other
people more than what's right about them.
Examine those four equations. Three were right and only one was
wrong. But what is the knee-jerk observation? The wrong equation.
If 10 people you didn't know were to walk through that door, most of
you would describe those people by what's negative about them. He's
fat. He's balding. Oh, the short one. Oh, the skinny girl.
Ahhh, 'yung pango. Etc.
Get the point? It's always the negative we focus on and not the
positive. You'll definitely experience this in the corporate world.
You do a hundred good things and one mistake-guess what? Chances are,
your attention will be called on that one mistake.
So what's better than focusing on the negative? Believe me, its
focusing on the positive. And if this world could learn to focus on
the positive more than the negative, it would be a much nicer place
to live in.
Better than working hard We have always been told to work hard. Our
parents say that, our teachers say that, and our principal says that.
But there's something better than merely working hard. It's working
SMART.
It's taking time to understand the situation, and coming out with an
effective and efficient solution to get more done with less time and
effort. As the Japanese say, "There's always a better way."
One of the most memorable case studies I came across with as I
studied Japanese management at Sophia University in Tokyo was the
case of the empty soap box, which happened in one of Japan's biggest
cosmetics companies.
The company received a complaint that a consumer had bought a box of
soap that was empty. It immediately isolated the problem to the
assembly line, which transported all the packaged boxes of soap to
the delivery department. For some reason, one soap box went through
the assembly line empty.
Management tasked its engineers to solve the problem. Post-haste, the
engineers worked hard to devise an X-ray machine with high-resolution
monitors manned by two people to watch all the soap boxes that passed
through the line to make sure they were not empty. No doubt, they
worked hard and they worked fast.
But a rank-and-file employee that was posed the same problem came out
with another solution. He bought a strong industrial electric fan and
pointed it at the assembly line. He switched the fan on, and as each
soap box passed the fan, it simply blew the empty boxes out of the
line.
Clearly, the engineers worked hard, but the rank-and-file employee
worked smart. So what's better than merely working hard? It's working
smart.
Having said that, it is still important to work hard. If you could
combine both working hard and working smart, you would possess a
major factor toward success.
Better than dreaming big I will bet my next month's salary that many
have encouraged you to dream big. Maybe even to reach for the stars
and aim high.
I sure heard that about a million times right before I graduated from
this university. So I did. I did dream big. I did aim high. I did
reach for the stars. No doubt, it works. In fact, the saying is
true: "If you aim for nothing, that's exactly what you'll hit:
nothing."
But there's something better than dreaming big. Believe me, I got
shocked myself. And I learned it from the biggest dreamer of all
time, Walt Disney.
When it comes to dreaming big, Walt is the man. No bigger dreams were
fulfilled than his. Every leadership book describes him as the
ultimate dreamer. In fact, the principle of dreaming and achieving is
the core message of the Disney hit song, "When You Wish Upon a Star".
"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are; anything
your heart desires will come to you. If your heart is in your dream,
no request is too extreme. When you wish upon a star, as dreamers
do," as Jiminy Cricket sang.
But is that what he preached in the Disney company? Dream?
Imagineering
Well, not! exactly. Kinda, but not quite. The problem with dreaming
is if that's all you do, you'll really get nowhere. In fact, you may
just fall asleep and never wake up.
The secret to Disney's success is not just dreaming, it's
IMAGINEERING.
You won't find this word in a dictionary. It's purely a Disney word.
Those who engage in imagineering are called imagineers. The word
combines the words "imagination" and "engineering."
In the book "Imagineers," Disney's CEO, Michael Eisner, claims
that "imagineers turn impossible dreams into real magic."
Walt Disney explained there is really no secret to their approach.
They just keep moving forward-opening new doors and doing new things,
because they are curious. And it is this curiosity that leads them
down new paths. They always dream, explore and experiment. In short,
imagineering is the blending of creative imagination and technical
know-how.
Eisner expounds on this thought by saying that "Not only are
imagineers curious, they are courageous, outrageous, and their
creativity is contagious."
The big difference with imagineers is that they dream and then they
DO! So don't just be a dreamer, be an imagineer.
You must have all been given a lecture at one time or another about
the importance of having a vision. Even leadership expert John
Maxwell says that an indispensable quality of a leader is to have a
vision. The Bible also makes it very clear that "Without vision,
people perish." So no doubt about it, having a vision is important to
success.
But surprise! There's something more potent than a vision. It's a
CAUSE. If all you're doing is trying to reach your vision and you're
pitted against someone fighting for a cause, chances are you'll lose.
The Vietnam War is a classic example. Literally with sticks and
stones, the Viet Cong beat the heavily armed US Army to surrender,
primarily because the US had a vision to win the war, but the
Vietnamese were fighting for a cause.
In the realm of business, many leaders have visions of making their
company No. 1, or grabbing market share, or forever increasing
profits.
Nothing really wrong with that vision, but take the example of Sony
founder Akio Morita. He did not just have a vision to build the
biggest electronics company in the world. In his biography, "Made in
Japan," he reveals that the real reason he set up Sony was to help
rebuild his country, which had just been battered by war. He had a
cause he was fighting for. His vision to be an electronics giant was
secondary.
What's the difference between a vision and a cause? Here's what sets
them apart...
No one is willing to die for a vision. People will die for a cause.
You posses a vision. A cause possesses you. A vision lies in your
hands. A cause lies in your heart. A vision involves sacrifice. A
cause involves the ultimate sacrifice.
Just a word of caution. You must have the right vision, and you must
be fighting for the right cause. In the end, right will always win
out.
It may take time, and it may take long. But if you have the right
vision and are fighting for the right cause, you will prevail. If
not, no matter how sincere you are, if you are not fighting for what
is right, you will ultimately fail.
Two final quotes
Allow me to end with two quotes that I have lived by ever since I
stepped out of UP.
The first comes from the Bible, which says, "To whom much is given,
much is required."
Having been given the opportunity to study in UP, no doubt, much has
been given to you in terms of an excellent education. Don't forget
that in return, much is now required of you to use that education not
just for yourself, but for others.
And as you move up and start reaching the pinnacle of success, even
more will be required of you to look at the wel! fare of others, of
society and of the country.
Though I have often dreamed of addressing any graduating class of UP
Diliman, I never really thought it would happen. This brings me to
the second quote I have held close to my heart as I traverse the
destiny God has laid out for me.
"There is no destination beyond reach of one who walks with God." My
standing in front of you today, as the youngest commencement speaker
of this esteemed university in 92 years, is proof of how true that
quote is.
A final review:
* What's better than focusing on the negative? Focus on the positive.
* What's better than working hard? It's working smart.
* What's better than dreaming? Imagineering.
* What's better than doing something for yourself? Doing something
for your country.
* What's better than a vision? A cause.
* What's better than a long speech? Definitely, a short one.
Thank you and congratulations, UP Diliman graduating class of 2003.

inday and others

AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
(nilabas ni Inday)
INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
(nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
NOSEBLEED!!! .hehehe
Amo: Inday di ba nanood ka ng The Buzz kahapon? Bkit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7?
Davy72se (1:36:09 AM): Inday: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
"don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."
Davy72se (1:37:45 AM): -- Inday nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siya isama sa enchanted kingdom
"Nurture others with positive, ruthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words."
- yan ang sabi ni Inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya
"Listening to the nonsense talk about someone's life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn't contribute to the good of the society. I hate character assassinators!"
-reklamo ni Inday ng natsismis sya ng kapitbahay! (di ko kinaya si Inday!)
stop your raucous behavior. it is bound to result in property damages and if that happens, there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you- si Inday, habang pinagsasabihan ang mga bata na wag malikot
hairypotter7.blogspot.com
This poem was nominated poem of 2005 for the best poem, written by an
African kid!!! GOOD ONE!!!
When I born, I Black,
When I grow up, I Black,
When I go in Sun, I Black,
When I scared, I Black,
When I sick, I Black,
And when I die, I still black..
And you White fella,
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray..
And you calling me Colored ??
dfnypc@gmail.com - dj - djulkifli
dyan_05@yahoo.com -
new number ni mich 09212493171
abad_er@yahoo.com - clay-send pics
shaiche@yahoo.com - r0bz
i wanna fuck you- akon
check on it-beyonce
no matter - akon
www.flickr.com/photos/babygirlvans - vans - ask gracie - when it will be downloaded - from bedroom -
5/15/2007-Ask for QA Worksheet -
hi to all!
http://kristel23.multiply.com/photos/photo/2/24
http://kristel23.multiply.com/photos/photo/2/23
hope we are all doing great!!!
I'd like to thank you guys for all the fun memories that we've shared in the program.
THANK YOU!!!
I am so lucky to have met beautiful people like you.
Leaving the company doesn't mean that i'll also forget all my friends here.
I will really miss you and also my Intuit customers!!!nyahahaha!!!
I wish you continuing happiness in your careers here at eTelecare...
GO FOR PROMOTION GUYS!!!
signing off,
Maria Victoria "vic" Gazmin
godsmack_zero21@hotmail.com - reggie
I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!
***************************************************
"physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to ones body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
- sabi ni inday sa amo nya nung humingi sya ng day off..
***************************************************
Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
***************************************************
"drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream chees topped with lemon zests."
- baon ni junjun sa daycare na hinanda ni inday. sosyal!
***************************************************
Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
***************************************************
"To forrestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."
- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.
***************************************************
"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…"
- Inday… hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick
***************************************************
"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance."
- Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya
***************************************************
Amo: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. o nga pla inglesira ka… would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals?
Inday: Judging from your statement I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term "fishes", although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traveresed the road to the wet market would be: What certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? (Pauses) Aaah… by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this houshold’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple "galewng-gowng". Am I correct?
Amo: grrrrr! (edited)
Inday: You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then the "ba-ngooz" is it!
***************************************************
"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market."
- banat ni Inday kung bakit walang "kangkong" sa nilutong sinigang
***************************************************
"Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the "oriza sativa" which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste."
- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing
***************************************************
"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!"
- si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate… (Taray talaga ni Inday!)
***************************************************
How do i stop fallin 4 some1?
How do i defy d pull of gravity?
cn i just flee?flee before i hit d ground and suffer d pain?
and tell myself: y do i chus to fall in d first place, wen i know from the start,dat some1s nvr gonna be der to catch me anyway?...
-tanong ni inday s sarili nya ng mainluv xa sa amo nya....
***************************************************
Why don't you appreciate me?! I'm also much burdened and scourged of the hardships of my professional work. I can speak english too, mind you filthy people!!!
- Dudong, bitter at nagseselos dahil lagi na lang daw si inday and bida…
***************************************************
Dont limit my capacity in the 4 corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences.
-inday, nagrereklamo dahil ayaw isama sa enchanted kingdom.
***************************************************
Success is often the result of taking a misstep in the right direction. Show me a person who has never made a mistake and i'll show you somebody who has never achieved much.
-sagot ni inday nung sumabog ang microwave naginagamit nya.
***************************************************
the 21st century device having a physical quantity that contains information is undetectable and has a numerical value equivalent to zero...nd i believe that its not bin carried by variations in frequency, amplitude nd phase.
-nagrereklamo si inday sa SUN CEL dahil wala dw cgnal ang fone nya.
***************************************************
I pity u for u have degraded ur very own pride & dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth. And I hope that one day u'l realize that u should not use humans as means of ur ends. As wat the great philosopher Kant uttered, "treat a man as an end in himself." !
-sagot ni inday sa holdaper na naghoholdap sa kanya.
Shut up, coz if u don’t, the bullet in this gun will rest upon your empty head!
-sagot ng holdaper. Ang sosyal na talaga nila!
***************************************************
"The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, bt penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long-lasting oil free skin."
-paliwanag ni inday habang nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su
***************************************************
Sa resto:
Waiter: Ano po order nila, maam?
Amo: Ung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday, ano sayo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of rice.
Amo: Iho, pa-order daw ng adobo w/rice.
***************************************************
Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!
***************************************************
"It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"
- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal’s office.
***************************************************
Dear mother,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed a moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenuous employ!
Inday
Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay
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Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
***************************************************
Dear Ma’am/Sir:
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company…
-resignation letter ni Inday

huh?

Hope it will help you ease your stress ... happy reading.
> sa luncheon meeting ba luncheon meat ang inihahanda?
>> > bakit ang taba ng barbeque palaging nasa hulihan?
>> > ang lason ba pag na expire nakakalason pa din?
>> > bakit sa pineapple wala akong makitang pine, wala ring apple?
>> > One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
>> > kung yung plural ng tooth ay teeth bakit yung plural ng booth ay hindi beeth?
>> > bakit eggplant ang tawag e wala namang egg?
kung itanim natin yung egg magiging "eggplant"?
>> > bakit kapag CLOSE kayo ng isang tao, OPEN kayo sa isa't isa?
>> > ang lamok ba kapag natutulog linalamok din?
>> > pwede bang maglagay ng baon mo pang dinner or breakfast sa lunchbox?
>> > bakit hindi na lang gumawa ng maraming pera para lahat tayo mabigyan?
>> > bakit ang mga bading, hindi naman nanganganak pero dumadami?
>> > bakit may lock sa pinto ng 7/11 convenience store eh 24 hours naman sila open?!
>> > Bakit buo ang Sky Flakes? di ba dapat pag flakes, durog siya?
>> > bakit walang bulaklak na kulay GREEN?
>> > If pro is the opposite of con, is congress the opposite of progress?
>> > Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
>> > Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
>> > Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
>> > why do they call freegifts FREE GIFTS? arent all gifts free?
>> > If you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant...what will you do?
>> > After you take a bath you're clean but wet, so u dry yourself with a towel.
Why do you have to wash the towel? Isn't it clean?
>> > Why is the boxing ring "square"?
>> > If you expect the unexpected, wouldn't the unexpected be expected?
>> > what happens when you get scared half to death twice?
>> > Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?
>> > How can you not like the past but like the future and present when they both will eventually become the past?
>> > o tingnan mo na napaisip ka tuloy...
dagdagan ko pa nga ng isa pa..
>> > pare-pareho nga ba ang napangasawa nina sleeping beauty, rapunzel, at snow white?
-- si Prince Charming?

cellphones could save you

THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW YOUR CELLPHONE COULD DOThere are a few things that can be done in times ofgrave emergencies. Your mobile phone can actually be alife saver or an emergency tool for survival. Checkout the thingsthat you can do with it: 1) Subject: Emergency numberThe Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. Ifyou findyourself out of coverage area of your mobile networkand there isan emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search anyexisting network to establish the emergency number foryou, andinterestingly this number 112 can be dialed even ifthe keypad islocked. *Try it out.*2) Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car?Does you car have remote keys?This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own acell phone:If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keysare at home, call someone at home on their cell phonefrom your cell phone. Hold your cellphone about a footfrom your car door and have the person at your homepress the unlock button, holding it near the mobilephone on their end. Your car will unlock. Savessomeone from having to drive your keys to you.Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of milesaway, and if you can reach someone who has the other"remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (orthe trunk).Editor'sNote: *It works fine! We tried it out and itunlocked our carover a cell phone!"3) Subject: Hidden Battery powerImagine your cell battery is very low, you areexpectingan important call and u don't have a charger. Nokiainstrumentcomes with a reserve battery. To activate, press thekeys *3370#Your cell will restart with this reserve and theinstrument willshow a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will getchargedwhen u charge your cell next time.